I started the week off planning to write about how to deal with the wintertime blues – this time of year when you just feel like throwing in the towel on life (as well as fitness) and hibernating until Spring. As I wrote, I found something weird happening. My mood kept getting darker and more fowl. And my frustration soared with each sentence I penned.
Then it hit me – Holy Heck, I am having a Fitness Funk!
And this was not just a small moment of discouragement. No, this was huge, full on Fitness Funk!!
I was so discouraged with my weight loss progress (or lack there of) and so disappointed in myself for not having the discipline and hutzpah to make better nutrition choices.
I was wallowing in self pity, self doubt, and self loathing! I felt like I was standing in front of an enormous, defiant Wall of Defeat! All I wanted to do what say “The h*ll with it. Who cares if I eat that scone or drink that extra glass of wine? Who really cares if I stay overweight? Those tortilla chips are mighty tasty! Who doesn’t love the salty crunch?! It’s fine – so what if I don’t really like myself – I can get over it. I will figure out a way to live with these feelings.” (I told you it was a HUGE Fitness Funk!)
I closed my laptop and headed home from the personal training studio. I found myself both mesmerized and haunted by my Wall of Defeat.
I have never let myself be defeated in my entire life – NEVER! I have lost many races, come in dead last in competitions, experienced setbacks in my career, and failed at many things. But I never, ever considered defeat. And here I was considering waving the white flag and surrendering – giving up on my fitness journey.
I had a horrible night’s sleep – dreaming about my Wall of Defeat and how I couldn’t topple it down or go around it. I dreamt about renaming the wall, “My Wall of Success” and creating a door so I could walk through it. I laughed at that. That was only a silly disguise, and who walks through defeat in order to be successful.
I made a proclamation (in my dream) that I was giving up. I woke up unnerved. But the funny thing is that I woke up with a sense of calm and a feeling that a storm had passed.
I am unsure as to what happened (I will leave that to those who like to analyze dreams) but here are few things that have stayed with me.
I do not like the feeling of defeat!
In hindsight, I believe that I needed to let myself acknowledge what defeat would feel like. And then make a choice if I would be defeated or not.
No way! Defeat (even imagined) feels horrible. It is not something that I want to experience, even remotely. In hindsight, I believe that I needed to let myself acknowledge what defeat would feel like. And then make a choice if I would be defeated or not. I am choosing not to be defeated. However, I am not choosing success – just yet. And that feels like the right choice for me. Choosing success seems to be too far of a reach. But I am willing and ready to claim a victory. And I like how that feels. It puts a smile on my face. And powers up my resolve to keep working at my nutrition!
Victories are more important than success!
Hanging onto “success is the only option” limits our experience and withholds our resources… Success can be arbitrary; everyday victories are real. Let’s claim the small victories along the way and see how that makes us feel.
A fitness journey is filled with ups and downs. Just like life. You can feel on top of the world one moment and be lost in the pits of despair the next. Hanging onto “success is the only option” limits our experience and withholds our resources. Had I not let myself feel and acknowledge what defeat is like, I am sure I would not have the sense of calm that I am experiencing right now. And I would certainly have never realized that victories are important too! So when I am able to choose an apple over a scone or say no to the extra glass of wine, I am going to give myself a high five and claim a victory.
Losing weight, exercising, and improving nutrition are hard enough — why put the burden of success on our shoulders. Success can be arbitrary; everyday victories are real. Let’s claim the small victories along the way and see how that makes us feel. I bet it will be an awesome experience!
I care! Losing weight and being lean are important to me!
In the midst of my fitness funk, my cavalier response was that I did not care if I ever lost the weight that I am struggling with right now. Truth be told; I do care. And I care tremendously. My not-so-little fitness funk taught me (once again) that I too easily get distracted from focusing my time and energy on what serves me best. And then my nutritional house falls apart. I gain weight. I ultimately end up feeling like a victim, which leads to my rationalization that I don’t care if I am overweight. Trying to live with the frustration of being over weight has been easier than standing up for myself and how I spend my time and energy!
But if you cringe every time you hear that little voice inside tell you that you don’t care that you are overweight, out of shape, stressed out; it is time to listen!
I am sure you have your story. It might sound a lot like mine or maybe not. But if you cringe every time you hear that little voice inside tell you that you don’t care that you are overweight, out of shape, stressed out; it is time to listen! There is a lesson to learn in those words of rationalization. Something is probably hiding behind the excuses. Something that is ready to be addressed that can help move you forward in your fitness journey. I am sure there will be a victory to celebrate!
If you are interested in dealing with your “wall of defeat,” give me a call (630.653.8152) to schedule a fitness consultation. Our team of personal trainers are extraordinary in their abilities to guide you through the ups and downs of your fitness journey and help you claim one victory after another!
Strand Fitness is a personal training studio serving Wheaton, Glen Ellyn, Winfield, and Chicago Western Suburbs.