Weight Gain Woes
The other night I was ricocheting between the intense feelings of frustration and defeat over having gained 40 pounds over the last 3 – 4 years. I was so mad at myself and frustrated that I was, once again, significantly overweight. I didn’t know whether to throw something or just sit down and cry.
Before I did either, I caught myself. Instead, I closed my eyes, took a few calming breaths, and asked myself what was going on.
A Trip Down Memory Lane
As I worked to calm my mind, the word “inadequate” popped into my thinking. Next, I was taken back to when I was about 7 or 8 years old. I was sitting in my Brownie troop meeting (yep, I was a Girl Scout), and I noticed that my belt on my uniform cut into my stomach. It was tight. I remember being embarrassed and sensing that this was not a good thing. I also felt badly about myself. There wasn’t any parental or external pressure about my weight. It seems that this assessment of character was something I came up with all by myself.
As I sat with that memory, a sentence formed in my mind: “I feel inadequate when I am overweight.” Holy heck! I never knew that about myself. I’ve certainly acknowledged frustration, and even anger, with my weight in the past. But I’ve never questioned my worth as a person, nor my self-esteem.
Facing the Inner Battle
I knew I was on to something. Knowing that my subconscious mind would have a fun night playing with my discovery (it did), I decided to turn off the thinking and head to bed. When I woke up, I felt like I had claimed a new part of me. The storm hadn’t passed completely. But now I knew what storm I was in.
Over the next several days, I kept observing and trying to be patient with myself. Some days, I still felt disgust and thought, how could I have let myself get “fat’ again? Woe is me! Other days there was a sense of curiosity about this feeling of “being inadequate.”
Fighting Inadequacy and Taking Ownership
Today I feel like I have landed in a more objective and, dare I say, a more mature place. I feel willing to take ownership and take stock. I have moved from a negative mindset to a mildly positive one. I will take that as a small victory. One shift at a time will move me forward.
Feeling inadequate is a big downer! Acknowledge it so you can get unstuck!
Feeling that you are inadequate is a victim-type feeling that robs you of your power to move forward. A little bit of this negative perspective can hold you back from what you most desire.
My struggle to reclaim healthy habits makes sense now. My mind has been elsewhere, working against what I want to achieve. Inadequacy has been wrapped up tight in this extra weight on my body. There is no way any weight will come off, or stay off, until I am clear about what I am feeling about the weight and about myself.
Acknowledging this dynamic is a huge step forward. I feel more powerful.
Find Power in Accepting and Exploring Your Vulnerabilities!
I once thought how different our lives would be if we were taught to embrace our vulnerabilities, rather than lock them away, out of sight. My analytical mind tells me that feeling inadequate is a natural human condition. But my emotional side says that it is scary and wants to push that feeling away. But by doing so, I rob myself of an important part of myself. The raw part that tells me what is important and who I really am.
So what if being overweight shines a light on my feeling of being inadequate! I am just being human. Fear of inadequacy robs me of my ability to use all of my talents to my advantage. Who knows what else I have locked up with that feeling of being inadequate? I might be missing the opportunity of my life time if I keep this feeling under wraps!
I believe the breakthroughs in life come from working with our vulnerabilities. If we are unaware of the forces within us or try to deny aspects of our nature, we lose power. We miss opportunities to learn new skills and develop new perspectives that enable us to tap who we are to our advantage.
Inadequacy is a Feeling — Not an Identity!
Whether someone feels unloved, lazy or unworthy, it is important to accept that these things are normal human feelings. However, they are not an identity. Creating identities out of these feelings is just something we tend to do with these negative emotions. Perhaps it’s easier to label ourselves instead of taking the risk of exploring who we really are.
I may feel inadequate about my weight, but that feeling does not mean I am an inadequate person. It is natural to feel unloved at times. But that doesn’t mean we are an unlovable person. Yes, maybe we can feel lazy sometimes. It could be a sign that we are tired or on an unsatisfying journey. But we don’t have to wear our laziness as a symbol of who we are and that we can’t achieve our goals.
It’s up to us to change our situation! Let’s up our game!
Changing our thinking is one way of changing our situation. Since feelings are chemical reactions to our thoughts, we can enhance the way we relate to ourselves and our situation by changing our thoughts. I can create a new, more objective thought about my weight. But to be honest, that feels like too much of a reach for me right now.
Instead, I am going to change my thoughts about “inadequate.” Instead of viewing it as something that diminishes me as a person, I am going to think about how grateful I am to know this new part of me.
I am also going to think about how strong I feel when I am willing to open up to my vulnerabilities (let alone write about them in my blog).
Then, with that sense of strength and confidence, I am going to ask myself what is one thing I can do right in this moment to help me lose weight and live an even healthier lifestyle. I will then push myself to take that action. If we want to make progress in our weight loss and with our health, we’ve got to up our game!
We can win together!
If you are struggling to lose weight and be healthier, please give me a call to schedule a consultation. (630-653-8152 or email firstname.lastname@example.org) Our complimentary fitness consultations are a great way to identify what is holding you back from losing weight and improving your health. We can then map out a plan to get you to where you want to be!
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Strand Fitness is a personal training studio in Downtown Wheaton, serving Glen Ellyn, Carol Stream, Winfield, & Chicago Western Suburbs. To learn more about how Strand Fitness can help you reach your fitness goals, contact Pam (630-653-8152) and schedule your free fitness consultation.
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